Spidey, My Man
by MandNwriterzz
Summary: After an alien army attacks NYC, it's the Avengers to the rescue, but they receive help from a very unexpected hero . . . Mentions of Black Widow x a character I will not mention unless you read, review and favorite this story. A crossover one shot complete with random humor and action! It is honestly waaaay better than the lame title and summary. ;)


**Okay, guys, let's just cut to the chase. This is a small one shot where the Avengers encounter Spider Man. Mostly humor, action and very brief mentions of romance. A/N: This is about a year after Gwen died, but still not with Mary Jane yet. Also, please forgive for any grammatical errors, OOCness, and randomness. I really hope you like this. :D Please read, review, fave and follow! Thank you soooo much! xoxo -M and N**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel, and these ideas came from pictures on the net. ;)**

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A high pitched scream ripped through the air and that was when the Avengers leaped out of their jet while it was still flying. One of the reasons was that the city was in danger, but also because of the huge lizard alien army marching across the terrain of New York City, trampling everything in their path and firing enormous projectiles of blue laser light. One of those projectiles had been aimed at their jet and now all the Avengers minus Thor, Iron Man and the Hulk tumbled down the road.

"I got the Upper East Side!" called out Iron Man as he jettisoned down the street, a trail of puffy and creamy white steam floating after his jet pack boots.

"Something tells me he wants to be fashionably late for a party," grumbled Hawkeye as he targeted several arrows at the lizards. Some of them shrieked out alien curses before collapsing to the ground in a heap, an arrow sticking out of its back.

"Well, I would say this was like Budapest all over again," Black Widow commented as she fired bullets, the golden shell casings clattering against the wrecked tar of the former road.

Hawkeye shot her a very incredulous look and retorted back, "Budapest didn't have human flesh devouring aliens, Tasha!"

"Would have made it more exciting, don't you think?"

Suddenly, a beam of blinding red light flashed out across the scene and while Natasha averted her emerald green eyes, Hawkeye had slipped on his dark UV ray protective sunglasses, courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D Eyewear. He continued monologuing with a cocky and seemingly triumphant grin on his face, despite Natasha was too busy trying not to lose her eyesight. "Still, Tasha, in all of our training sessions, I win, remember?"

"Shut up, Barton!" snapped the redheaded woman.

He went on, like he didn't hear her, which he probably didn't. "Whatever you say, honey. But you know very well that I always come out on top- EEP!" He shrieked out a cry as Black Widow got up, slammed her body into his and pushed themselves down onto the ground, shielded by a large piece of debris.

She looked down at him with a condescending glint on her jade green orbs and a smug smirk on her lips. "Now who's on top, _honey_?" she rubbed it into his face. He grunted out a harrumph.

"No fair. I was monologuing."

"INAPPROPRIATE, SOLDIERS!" Captain America hollered as he came running to their aid. The light had finally dimmed down.

Iron Man zoomed over head and using his jet pack boots, created a cloudy messgae: TAKE IT OFF. He added with his own dialogue, "Yeah, get a room, you two, on un-alien occupied ground, though, 'kay?"

"They are coming!" Thor called out, smashing down on to the ground with Mjolnir.

Captain America joined by Black Widow's side, who planted her hands on her hips and contemplated how to take out the army, by the rubble, covered himself with his shield and ordered, "Now, Hawkeye, it's time to do your thing!"

The brown haired archer paused for a moment before replying slowly, ". . . I'm out of arrows."

"How many arrows did you bring?" Black Widow muttered out her question, flipping her hair out of her face, while she and the Captain both mentally face palmed.

"All of them!" Hawkeye quickly defended himself, saying truthfully, "Like, eleven!"

"_Eleven?!_" Captain America and Black Widow both repeated in an incredulous tone.

"But there's, like, _over a hundred thousand_ aliens out there!" Black Widow leaned into one hip as her head whipped over to face Hawkeye, her short and fiery curls bouncing. She enunciated every word clearly over the loud and deafening ruckus.

Hawkeye smiled again triumphantly, like he did the world the best deed God had ever presented them. "And I killed eleven of them for you. You're welcome."

While the two other Avengers team mates face palmed themselves for real this time, Iron Man fired a grenade from his suit and the Hulk tore through the army, crushing every lizard in his path.

But the army seemed to swell with more and more aliens, climbing closer and closer to them. The female agent in the middle then added in a venomous snap to Hawkeye, "And you do know you only took out point three percent of the alien army, right?"

Hawkeye's grin faltered and then wilted immediately.

"You make it sound so pathetic when you say it like that," he grumbled.

"Guys," Iron Man said uncomfortably. "They're getting closer."

Black Widow fired several more bullets while Captain America launched his shield over and over again like a boomerang. "You could help," she grumbled back at the archer, who shrugged care freely.

"I'm out of arrows, sorry."

"He's what?" Iron Man looked towards them. "It's possible for him to run out of arrows? I didn't know he could run out of arrows."

"Come on, Stark! Move it!"

"It's too late!" shouted Thor.

The army was closing in, or was it? Suddenly, a silvery stream of thick thread hit one of the lizards. Soon, many of the lizards were strung up in a web like contraption. The Avengers noticed a red and blue figure hopping from a building ledge to another at and incredible speed.

"Who is that?" questioned the god.

"I don't know, but I don't like it. I'm supposed to be the hero of this city!" Iron Man retreated towards the figure and Black Widow and Hawkeye followed after him.

"Stark, don't do anything rash!"

But of course he did. "Hey, you! What the hell do you think you're doing in _my_ city?" Now a lizard escaped the vigilante's reach and was bounding straight for Black Widow, who was shooting many bullets at it, but it did not lose momentum. The vigilante darted out of sight, much to Iron Man's chagrin. The lizard leapt on top of the female agent and Hawkeye jerked out his bow.

"I'll stop it!" he declared.

"But you do not have any arrows!" Thor pointed out while extending his hammer for emphasis.

Hawkeye threw his bow down and proceeded to fling rocks at the alien that was carrying Black Widow up the building.

"Yo, Stark! Little help here!" she called out and a mechanical arm waved itself out of a pile of lizards.

"Kind of tied up at the minute!" His voice was muffled by the heaps of lizards on him.

The other part of the army was attacking the rest of the Avengers and when Thor and the Hulk both smashed down their weapons, it sent out a rumble through the air, which caused the lizard alien carrying Black Widow to lose its grip on the building. The female agent and the alien plummeted down to the ground.

The wind rushed through her fiery hair and she bit her lip from screaming as the ground came rushing at her. She was most definitely going to die. She covered her eyes with her arms and shifted in the air so she would mostly take the fall on her side, but then she was flying. She heard the alien that had tried to abduct let out a dying hiss and the other Avengers were still fighting for their lives. But yet, the wind was ruffling her hair and whistling past her ears in a roar and the buildings seemed to be gliding from side to side. Her arms were wrapped around someone's sturdy neck and her head was buried in their shoulder. Black Widow felt the rough blood red material of the person's suit and looked up so her green eyes met with the masked man's silver lens. She saw the same silver thread tugging them along and they touched down near one of the piles of rubble.

The masked man let her down gently on her feet and she staggered away to look at him. "Thank you," she said softly.

"No problem. Just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, ma'am," his voice said, confirming the male gender. She waved her hand in dismissal.

"Agent Romanoff," she outstretched her hand and he gladly shook it. Suddenly, there was a machinery hiss and Iron Man was right next to them.

"Oh, are you too busy hooking up or can I interrupt?" he asked cheekily. "'Cause there's this huge army we still need to take down, but it's fine."

"Well, you want some help?" offered Spiderman.

"Uh, no thanks." Iron Man placed his hands on his hips sassily. "I was fine defending NYC by myself, thank you very much."

"Really?" Black Widow suspected that he raised an eyebrow under the mask.

"Yes, in just a minute or so, Stark Tower will release the alien bug spray and the city will be free of this crap."

"Great, because here they come," the only woman commented, pointing to the large green mass charging towards them.

"Uh oh! RUN!" Iron Man flew away while Black Widow had to bolt away with Spiderman on her heels. Of course, the other superhero soon used his web strings of destiny to swing up into the air. She quickly latched onto his arm and they both escaped the claws of the lizards.

"Thirty seconds!"

"Seriously? Don't you have a time speed up machine? You are Tony Stark after all!"

"How'd you know that?" Iron Man began to fly backwards while staring at Spiderman.

"You did reveal your secret identity to everyone."

"Well, yeah, okay. You have a point. Fifteen seconds!"

"We don't the- Oof!" One of the lizards super jumped onto Spiderman and Black Widow and they all fell to the ground, which was a much safer distance lower to the ground. Suddenly, another beam of this time, white light burst out from the tip of Stark Tower in the distance and after a few seconds, Black Widow saw melted and stinking puddles where the lizard aliens had been. Next to her was a motionless Spiderman.

The other avengers gathered round and Hawkeye poked him with a stick. "Is he alive?"

"Eh, who cares? I'm back to being NYC's _lone _superhero." Iron Man stared at the sky with a rejoicing angle of his expression and a swell of ego reaching his voice.

"Seriously, guys," Black Widow glared at all of them with a chiding glint.

Iron Man shrugged. "Maybe it's the mask. With that spandex outfit, it's a wonder how he was breathing in action."

"I do not understand," said Thor.

"It's like Agent Romanoff's catsuit. You can't tell if they're breathing from their chest since it's made to look like that. You can play dead in those outfits and no one will suspect a thing."

"Let's just get the mask off," Captain America said and Black Widow reached over and ever so gently and slowly, peeled off the mask. Everyone gawked at the face below. Spiderman had messily ruffled chestnut brown hair like he had just rolled out of bed and healthy white skin.

"He's just a kid," whispered the Captain in amazement.

"At least he is breathing," Thor sighed out in relief.

"Okay, I totally take back everything I've said," Iron Man said, raising his hand up in an oath like gesture.

"He's pretty cute," nodded Black Widow and Hawkeye cast her a strange look.

"Excuse me?" he asked, but she didn't seem to hear him since Spiderman's eyeballs were fidgeting under his smooth eyelids. They had just began to crack open, revealing chocolate brown orbs, when there was suddenly a misty spray over his face and he slumped back to the side. Everyone looked up at Iron Man, who had his wrist launcher outstretched, with exasperated looks.

"Heheh," chuckled he nervously. "False alarm. My bad."

"You might want to put his mask back on," whispered Hawkeye from the corner of his mouth. Black Widow slipped the mask back into place and they all continued to stare.

"Ungh . . ." Spiderman groaned after a few minutes and he came to his senses and noticed everyone staring at him. "What happened?"

"Good morning, sleepyhead," greeted the back to being cheeky Iron Man. "You took a hit to the head."

He sat up and rubbed his covered temples. He got to his feet and asked, "What happened to the army?"

"I took them out. I'm _that_ good." Everyone else rolled their eyes, but things took a turn downwards when Iron Man unnecessarily added, "We also took off your mask to see."

Spiderman's muscles stiffened under the suit and he leaped up onto a ledge. "You took off my mask?!" he inquired in astonishment and disbelief.

"We had to make sure you were still breathing," the other man amended quickly.

"Man, I am trying to keep a secret identity here! No one respects my secret identity!"

Thor then muttered, "He is dramatic."

"One secret, that's all I want!" Spiderman kept saying, rambling on without realizing it. "Every time I turn around, someone somewhere finds out I'm Peter Parker!"

Black Widow's pale jade green orbs slanted to the side awkwardly. "We, uh, we didn't know your name," she told him and he froze again.

". . . Dammit," he grumbled after a pregnant pause.

"Well, you're welcome to join the Avengers anytime," a familiar voice added and everyone turned around to see Director Nick Fury heading towards them among the scattered debris in his long, dark overcoat, the light glinting off the black leather of his eyepatch.

"Oh, hey, Fury." Raising a hand, Iron Man flew down again to the ground. Spiderman joined him.

"Uh, well, thanks, but no thanks. I think I'm fine for now protecting New York," the red and blue clad man nodded. Fury nodded back in understanding.

"But if you ever change your mind, you know where to call." He then handed him one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. business and phone number cards. Spiderman gave it a brief look before slipping inside one of the hidden pockets.

"Yeah . . ." Spiderman then pulled out his own phone number cards, but instead of handing it to Fury, he turned over to Black Widow and handed it to her. "Call me."

She grinned, revealing pearly white teeth. "I will definitely take you up on that." She winked and Spiderman undoubtedly blushed before swinging off. While Black Widow contemplated the card, Hawkeye snatched it out of her hands.

"I really don't think you should talk with him," he said, trying to make up an excuse for his obvious jealousy. "He's . . . dangerous."

"So what, Clint?" Black Widow snapped and took back the card. She looked towards the direction Spiderman had taken off in with curious green eyes. "I like danger."

"Ooh, someone's got a crush!" teased Iron Man, wiggling metallic fingers.

"SHUT UP, STARK!"

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_**Please take a moment to state your opinion of the one shot in a review or add this to your favorites if you liked this at all, even point five percent, and have a heart to care about anything. But thanks anyway for reading! ;) Also, go vote on our Avengers poll! Please, we need the votes.**_


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